When my brain told me I wasn’t safe (but I was)

Sometimes what we feel isn’t actually what’s true.

I was walking home from the mall, the same route I always take. The weather was pleasant, and I had just finished sending a friend an audio message. I was enjoying the late afternoon outing.

My daughter works at the mall, which is about a 15-minute walk away. Sometimes, when her husband needs the car, he drops her off at my place until her shift starts. I walk with her, and then I walk home on my own.

Usually this happens in the morning, but on this day she started later, so I was walking home during rush hour.

Now you might be thinking… why does it matter if it was rush hour? You were walking, not driving.

I thought the same thing.

It should have been irrelevant.

But it wasn’t.

As someone with low vision, I rely on all of my senses throughout the day, sometimes more than I even realize. And this was one of those moments.

As I was walking, I suddenly started to feel unsafe.

I looked around. As far as I could tell, I was the only one on the path. But something in me was saying that something was off… that I should be on guard… that I might be in danger.

Over the last year, I’ve been working on catching my thoughts before they take over. So instead of spiraling, I noticed it. Not just the thought, but what it was doing in my body.

And then it hit me.

Walking home at 10 AM sounds different than walking home at 4:30 PM.

It feels different.

And even if I can’t fully see everything around me, I can feel those changes.

My nervous system picked up on that shift and set off an alarm.

For a moment, I felt fear. I started to question whether I was safe.

But after a minute, I was able to take control of my thoughts.

I reminded myself that I was safe. That I wasn’t walking on the road. That the sidewalk hadn’t changed. I acknowledged that things felt different, but that didn’t mean I was in danger.

And I kept walking.

My body settled. My mind calmed. And of course, I made it home safely.

It made me realize something.

We can actually train ourselves to catch our thoughts.

That part of our brain that’s wired to protect us is powerful. But it doesn’t like change. It doesn’t like anything unfamiliar.

And if we’re not paying attention, it can convince us to pull back. To stay where things feel comfortable. To avoid what feels uncertain.

Sometimes that’s protection.

But sometimes… it’s just fear dressed up as protection.

And when we understand what’s happening, we can pause. We can notice. We can calm our minds and our bodies.

And we can keep moving forward.

Even when things feel different.

Because different doesn’t always mean unsafe.