A Mole Hair and the Thoughts We Tolerate

Some thoughts keep coming back—not because they’re true, but because we’ve stopped pulling them out.

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I have a mole hair.

It grows out of a small mole on my right thigh. It’s stiff, pokey, and no matter how many times I pluck it, it always comes back.

The plucking part is not simple. Because of my low vision, I have to attempt it by feel. That means I need to accurately locate it and it has to be long enough to grab without grabbing the mole itself. Miss, and I pinch the skin around it instead.

Once you finally extract it, you get about a week of peace—before you’re back on high alert, waiting for its inevitable return.

That mole hair is like our thoughts.

The unhelpful ones.

The stupid ones.

The ones that serve no good purpose.

You know they shouldn’t be there. You’ve worked hard to get rid of them. But eventually, they come back to see if you’ve changed your mind. Maybe this time you’ll tolerate it. Let it linger. Mull it over for a while.

I mean… not everyone has a leg mole hair, right?

It’s part of who I am.

Maybe it defines me.

Shelley with the leg mole hair.

Eventually, you get tired of trying to pluck it. It’s hard work. It hurts. So instead, you tolerate it. You trim it. You brush it. You know it’s not great, but pulling it out feels like too much effort.

And that’s how it goes with thoughts too.

We all have them—the thoughts that don’t serve us but feel familiar. Comfortable, even. Thoughts we can justify. Thoughts we can gather evidence for.

I get it. I have them too.

Lately, I’ve been taking stock of my thoughts. Paying attention as they come in. And when one keeps returning, I take the time to go a little deeper and ask where it might be coming from.

Can I be honest?

One thought that visits me periodically is this:

You’re nobody, Shelley.

Yeah. It’s dark.

When it shows up, I usually recognize it quickly and pluck it right out. I remind myself there’s no possible way it could be true, and I move on with my day.

But because this thought keeps returning, I’ve started doing some quiet digging. I’m 45—there have been plenty of opportunities over the years for a lie like this to take root.

Like the mole hair, my goal is to remove it as quickly as possible. And while I know it may surface again, I also know this: it does not belong, and it will not be tolerated.

Do you have a mole-hair thought?

No shame—it’s normal. Awareness is the first step. Just grab the tweezers. Do the work. Push through the discomfort. And pull that thought right out.

Here’s to a mole-free life.